A lot but nothing has happened since my last post. I’m never more grateful for living in rural Ireland than I am now. Now, if I could win the lottery so I can set up wind and solar to battery storage I’d be even more happier.

It is bizarre to even be considering cancelling our Salute trip in April because we might not be able to afford the fuel. And who knows, the ferry companies might not either. Worst case scenario we buy vegetable oil and drive the van over. Aldi is selling it at 1.49 a litre.

It really has been a year (and a bit) for the car. Slimer lost a wing mirror, and then had relationships with a grass bank. The latter was one of those hilarious slow crashes where you just have to let it happen. He is all fixed now. I should rename him to Trigger’s Broom.

We have a favourite petrol station in Mallow, Ireland. They have closed down while all this price gouging and shite is happening. They said they want no part in ripping off people. So will open again when it’s back to “normal”. It is worth saying they are regularly 3 or 4 cents below everyone else any way. Sound lads.

Tomorrow I finally start my biologic infusion for Ulcerative Colitis. It’s three hours in a day ward, one hour to make sure I don’t have any issues. What would I consider a success for this treatment? Energy levels. I can handle the irregular and chaotic bowel movements. But if I can just get a few more hours a day, and the brain fog gone I would be so happy. My Vortioxetine and Lamotrogine have been working overtime since 2024.

Big shout out to my GP. He never stopped trying to find a reason for the fatigue, and even started some really intensive documentation so any future disability claim would go smoother. And he always said from the start he was sure it was autoimmune. Yes, I had to go in to A&E with GI bleeding to get it seen but that’s the nature of ‘flare up’ diseases. You have to see them to diagnose.

It’s not a smoking gun. And because this fatigue has been with me for so long it won’t go away completely. My body has got used to it. But any improvement is such a fucking win.

I put my headphones on.

I have learned a lot this week when it comes to making a full-length video. Know what you’re going to film before you film it. They don’t do storyboards for shits and giggles. You need more light than you think. GoPros are shite in low-light. And write a script!

I like my video. My husband says it’s like Wes Anderson recorded an episode of Grand Designs. For the still talk-at-camera shots I used Camo Studio and my Samsung A56, with a Rode mic connected to the computer. For the moving around shots I used the Samsung but unfortunately not using the Camo Studio software. Which means the footage is cruddy. I did a lot of work on settings, and using other cameras, but it was the best of a bad bunch. Voice-over work was done in Audacity with an Audio Technica mic. And the editing was done in Davinci Resolve.

The Hobby is plagued with LED lights. Whether it’s that USB hobby lamp you were influenced to buy but is actually from Temu, or the lighting in the large hall you’re playing a narrative event in.

Which is my next topic. I use the free version and for 99.99999999999999% of things it is perfect. HOWEVER. LED lights flicker. You can’t see them do it. But when you video at certain framerates it’s there. And the anti-flicker FX in Davincci Resolve is in the Studio edition only.

So that’s why I tried to film in lower-than-optimal lighting. I was trying to avoid the flashing and that meant turning off a few lights. It’s an instant scroll past when I see it in Reels on instagram. They could be informative, engaging, beautifully edited. But if they flicker under LED lighting I’m goooone.

Influencers in the creative space talk a lot about “just post it!” “get it out there!”. Please don’t. Give it a once over and make sure it doesn’t look like an underground Berlin rave from the 90s.

Muscle weakness is another steroid side-effect. And that screwed me over for the first few weeks of my highest dose. I couldn’t hold a paint brush, or manipulate any clay. But bizarrely my brain was firing on all cylinders. I couldn’t win.

So I have a Brain Book. A Leuchturm1917 that I brain-fart in. Ideas, techniques, things I see, all go in to the book. I have three tabletop RPG game ideas in there. Plans for videos which will never see the light of day, but are stories I want to tell. Concepts for artwork. Shopping lists. Dates from phonecalls.

I’m not adding any aesthetic photos of it. Because it is private. Not in a diary way. But thought processes, old ideas, and scribbled out ideas are private. The journey to them. Or indeed the cul-de-sac with no space to turn around.

One idea in it, which comes up again and again for me, is a VLOG. I’ve been playing around with Reels recently and enjoying the process of filming and editing. I know I have the capability to make a horizontal video. But I am starting to see my brain go back to pre-steroid exhaustion. Which is breaking my heart.

I had hung my hope on this last hospital stay and diagnosis knocking the exhaustion issue on its arse. But my (more agressive) immunotherapy kicks off in the new year. Maybe 2026 will see a VLOG kick off?

It scared the soul out of my arse but I’m still here. Because I was on Irish roads there was no one around me and I got safely over to the hard shoulder. I put the old hi-vis on and did a full check of the car. All good. Had a little cry. Called my husband. It was half ten at night and we decided that getting home was the priority.

So, this week was all about the car. An Garda Síochána were called, insurance was called. Slimer went in for repairs on Wednesday and I picked up the worst fucking car in the world as a replacement. Yeah, yeah, gift horse - mouth. But I officialy hate modern cars. It’s an over-eager 251 Kia Sportage. A rant I have had on both Instagram and Bluesky.

I was creative though. A dear friend sent me a small gift of a Bladderman. What is a bladderman? You should go hang out with Ben on the ‘gram. I didn’t want to do anything other than paint, so I painted. I’m proud of his skin, but not happy with my photography. So we’ll just pretend you can see how talented I am.

I started my In Rust We Trust secret santa. The prompts are amazing, and instantly sparked an idea. One I like so much that I might go full sculpt on it when the kitbash is done.

What hasn’t worked: Fabric. I was going to use a very thin cotton to extend yer man’s coat. But whatever the resin/plastic is just does not like superglue. The fabric is also too heavy to hold itself for slower drying glues. So I am going with papier-mâché and use wire armature underneath to encourage creasing.

I recorded and edited a video for Reels. And tried out some new things! I was very happy with how it went. And it is once again tickling my brain for YouTube. I just don’t know if I can make content longer than 30 seconds. I have the ideas, and the bits-and-bobs needed for video (music, graphics). But I get distracted, overwhelmed, and let perfect become the enemy of good.

I’ll try out some things for a hobby room tour and see if I can make that engaging. If I start long it’ll be easier to cut back to a reels length. Rather than starting short and having to pad stuff out.

The week ends with a windfarm equinox. The sun flashing through the blades of our companions. And with this post being the final act of creativity as I once again obsessively play Valheim with the drawing in of the night and the banking of the fire.

Storm Claudia is closing my trip off with a bang. The Stena Estrid is delayed an hour tomorrow. RTÉ is predicting Ireland sinking beneath the waves. And I just wish people would put their headlights on when driving in heavy rain.

My trip to blighty was in aid of my parents. I try and see them once a year and drive over in Slimer. I like driving. Every year I forget that more people live in Greater Manchester and surrounding cities than in Ireland, and they all want to be on the road at the same time as me. Go away.

Memories of York were dredged from the scum at the bottom of my memory barrel. Where I am I still bitter about some changes that happened when I lived here, and changes that happened when I didn’t. No longer will I wait for friends outside Woolworths before going to the Odeon. Instead I’ll walk around muttering about how I remember when all this used to be fields. And when did the York buses go all goth?

York is for the tourists. I am sad.

The surreal experience ended there as I was not required to sleep in my childhood room. My parents have moved on, and it is very much their home now. I still knew to duck my head walking down the stairs, while smacking the wall of the box-room. The piano still played Moonlight Sonata a few tones south of concert pitch. And the original 1930s interior doors still had the handles a fraction too high.

I admired the red-brick houses on the Fulford Road, and imagined myself moving back home. Quickly realising I was admiring them from a busy road in standstil traffic. And then longing for my house on the mountain.

They Kitbash. They hunt for ideas through the swollen ether of creativity which embraces us all. Where tanks with moist arseholes, and yellow cubes with too many teeth come to fruition. And have a role to play in indie wargames.

They ask and answer questions no one asked or wanted answering. What would a lamprey eel and an Aerlingus plane look like? What glue will stick this rock to a piece of metal I found in the driveway? Anyone around and fancy kitbashing in a church hall in Nottingham we will bring tea?

When I talk of The Hobby I’m talking of this group of people. A range of creativity starting with ‘Eavy Metal style painting of a Space Marine, and richocheting off the weird all the way over to interactive sculptures of mechanical dolls.

It’s a place where in-progress photos are more valuable because the magic is underneath the oil washes. Money is spent on baking soda and not acrylic mediums. A heartfelt gift is a lunchbox filled with shards of plastic. Stickers, badges, and patches are the currency.

We all work beige jobs in one way or another. And we all connect online around the world with ideas and advice. The community comes together and marinades in events from the last minute to the well established. We will be blown away by your Golden Demon entry, but also whatever that thing is you just made which looks wet.

Come have a gander. Check out tags like Inq28, 28mm, and GrimDark on all your favourite platforms. Read magazines like 28 Mag, and hang out in places like Fringe (Discord). And pop over to the Kitbash Korner at Salute next April.